Using Photography to Stay Connected During Deployment

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It’s Valentine’s week and here is a heartwarming article from Dina Farmer. Dina’s military husband is currently serving overseas, but they both use photography to stay emotionally connected with each other .  Thanks for this little glimpse into your life, Dina, and thanks to your husband for his service.  Happy Valentine’s Day to you both!

As a military spouse over the last 7 years of marriage I have found that a big part of being a military family is the sacrifices you have to make. One of those sacrifices is to have your military member deployed or on remote assignments in which you can’t go with them.  We have found different ways to keep in contact.  Initially we only called each other before the birth of our first child and facetime/skype.  Once our little one was born my husband deployed shortly after he turned just 2 months old.  I found that away to help me grow as a photographer and to also share images of our son as he grew we created a private blog.

This way I could see the snippets of what he was seeing each day and he could watch our son grow through imagery as well as from facetime/skype.  This allowed my husband to have pictures of our child whenever he wanted to see them.  It was great because it prepared him for seeing how much a 2 month old grows by the time they reach 8 months. Being able to see these images helped us not only feel at home but also to relate to each other.  We didn’t always write something on the blog post we made to each other, and there might not be a reason to.  An image can easily explain itself when you already have an emotional attachment to it.  For my husband it was seeing my son smile for the first time or the first reaction to a spoonful of solid food.

I also was able to see the living conditions my husband was in and what the faces of his co-workers were while he was deployed.  It allowed me to see the country he was deployed to from an outsider’s perspective.

We decided the best course of action for doing this private blog was to have each of us try to post a photo everyday.  It didn’t matter the medium only that a photo was up on the blog each day.  Some days photos with be taken with my cell phone or my DLSR and all of my husband’s were taken with a point and shoot camera.  So, the photographer in me was allowed to not worry about making an amazingly composed photograph.  The reason being because it was as important to have a technically correct photo since my husband would be the only person seeing that photograph.  Of course I did have fun with it and learned along the way, but I never put pressure on anything or myself to make sure my background was clean.  Because in the long run my husband would be emotionally attached to the imagery he saw on the blog rather than a background that was clean and our son being lined up perfectly in the rule of thirds.

This private blog also allowed my husband to gain an understanding of my love for photography.  He’d find fun and interesting things to photograph like the buildings that he visited at the deployed location or maybe a meal at the dining facility.  It also showed him that there is more to creating a photograph than taking it.  Just like travel photography it was neat to see the places my husband got to see first hand a live a little vicariously through him.  It was also nice to not have to wait all the way until the end of his deployment to be able to see the photos he’d taken.

Sure, it was just a snapshot for him but he eventually found that he enjoyed taking images just so that he could share them with me.  He would even try to compose a few of them from time to time and I feel as a couple it was nice to be able to really relate to each other about my hobby.  I think just having this allows you as a couple to grow together and share something special while your spouse is deployed.

I will say during this 6 months that we were apart and photographing every day I did see an improvement with my photography skills.  It allowed me to express myself and explore my photography without feeling pressure from becoming a better photographer.  Because no matter what my husband was going to love the images of seeing his little boy grow.  It also gave me room to explore different photography techniques and try different things out everyday.  There were no rules just taking one image of my little boy every single day.  It could be anything from eating breakfast to tucking him in at night. I also plan in the future when our son is older to allow him to take photographs to share with his Dad.  That way he will feel a part of this photo sharing every day. At the end of each of his deployments or trainings we always do something fun like go on a vacation.  In this particular instance we went to Seattle for a cruise and took our boy with us because we knew that my husband needed to reconnect and have uninterrupted time with his new 8 month old baby boy.  Having that is also something to look forward to. The blog thankfully does see a lot of down time.  We don’t keep up with it while he is home, but we do go over the photos as a family and I’ve even taken it so far as to print a photo book of the time we spent apart.   But it really does help to reconnect and celebrate the precious time you have with your spouse during the in between time. Right now we are on the cusp of a yearlong separation with my husband going to Korea.  It will be harder this time around since our son is now 2 years old.  As a military family we are so thankful for the time we do get to spend together and now our private blog will go active to document our time apart.

Dina Farmer

Dina is married to an Air Force man that stole her heart, a stay at home mom to an amazing 2 year old, and a full time photography student.  Her love for photography started in high school, but she never followed her dream until the birth of her little boy.  She currently writes a blog about photography tips for moms and dads.

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